Jane Describing Her Experience in Her Own Words

There was a time when my life as an educated 20-something with a promising job, supportive family and limitless future appeared perfect to others. Sadly, my view from the inside wasn’t nearly as ideal as many would have thought. My emotional well-being was spiraling downward as I struggled to come to peace and ultimately forgive myself and the individual who drugged and raped me.

In the months following my rape, I struggled to trust others. I feared being alone in my home and in the presence of strangers. I often lacked the self confidence to make even the simplest, non-consequential decisions. After suffering with feelings of anger, self-doubt, and anxiety, I turned to therapy to help me gain more control over my life.

Simple, yet powerful therapy techniques learned from Dr. Friedman proved beneficial to improving my emotional well-being. By appropriately naming the feelings I was experiencing, I was able to identify and confront the negativity. Deep breathing techniques that focused on allowing the positive white light to permeate my soul and push away the negative dark light helped to cleanse and invigorate my spirit. Empowering self-talk and positive thinking exercises reinforced the concept that I had the inner strength to again become the person left behind after being raped. Practicing these techniques changed my life.

I forgave the person who raped me; not only for the crime he committed, but also for the emotional devastation it inflicted on me. Most importantly, I forgave myself for the self-blame and disappointment I felt for so long. Therapy enabled me to harness the power within and evolve from viewing myself as a victim to becoming a self-confident and capable survivor whose wounds have healed.

(from The Forgiveness Solution: The Whole Body Rx for Finding True Happiness, Abundant Love and Inner Peace by Philip H. Friedman, Ph.D. Conari Press, Dec. 2009, p.135)

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